


Spanners Grins And Bears It

by Kahvi



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A re-write of <i>Marooned</i> as it might have played out in the dimension of the original Ace and Spanners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spanners Grins And Bears It

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Roadstergal for the great beta!

The loud, clear sirens of Mimas Base rang out, signaling evacuation. The noise was not quite so eardrum-shattering in the hangar bay where Ace and Spanners were loading a few of their belongings on board what Ace referred to as 'his latest crate', but it was enough that Spanners didn't want to stick around any longer than necessary. Of course, the reason why the sirens were going off in the first place would be enough to make any sane person to want to leave.

Having deposited his own, sturdy-looking trunk safely in the meager space available, Ace turned towards Spanners and made a move for his guitar-case. "I'll take that for you, old chum."

"No need." Spanners gave a quick smile, hurrying inside. "I'd rather hang on to this myself, if you don't mind, Ace."

Normally, Ace might have argued with a denied offer to help, but he was clearly aware that time was of the essence. Nodding curtly, he gave Spanners a hearty pat on the back, and hurried towards the small cockpit area. "Might want to strap in, Spanneroo," he called back towards the passenger section, "This little lady is a fast mover."

There was no need to tell Spanners that. He'd done the pre-flight checks for Ace's first test run in the _Gemini_ himself, and had been there during take-off. Although, once the shock-wave hit, he very nearly hadn't been any more. He secured the buckle of the six-point safety-harness, and leaned back in anticipation. They really _were_ cutting it rather close, but that was a risk he'd willingly taken when he volunteered to stay behind with Ace and help with the evacuation. Even after the 'Last Warning' sirens had started, Ace had insisted on taking an extra round to check that anyone wasn't lingering behind in the toilets. "Ready when you are, Ace!" Spanners clutched the arm-rests of his chair.

"Splendid! Won't be a mo'."

Spanners didn't even have time to think, much less react, before the _Gemini_ was out of the hangar and into the freedom of open space, rapidly putting a healthy distance between herself and the base. Despite having seen her move before, Spanners was impressed. Of course, it was quite something different to actually be on board. A small screen on the wall in front of him was showing a view of all sides of the craft simultaneously, their speed and distance from point of departure listed somberly in the bottom left hand corner. Suddenly aware that he had been holding his breath, Spanners exhaled deeply. "Nice one, Ace!" he hollered towards the cockpit.

There came the click of a safety harness being unbuckled as Ace leaned forward and turned on the auto-pilot. At least that's what Spanners assumed he was doing. Ace didn't like to talk while he was following safety procedure, because the safety procedure specifically stated that you shouldn't. Finally, he turned around and grinned in Spanner's direction. "Thank you Spanners, but you know that's utter tosh." Sliding out of the pilot's seat, Ace strolled back into the passenger section, and leaned against the door-frame, giving his head a toss to keep his hair from falling into his eyes. "It's all routine. A parakeet could fly this thing if someone strapped it in and glued some birdseed to the right buttons."

Giggling at that image, Spanners unbuckled his own harness, and got up. "Yer selling yerself short, Ace, as always." He shook his head, smiling. "What's it going to take for you to stop putting yerself down?"

Ace looked away, his mouth quirking slightly. "Ah, quit that nonsense. You know I don't like talking about myself."

Still smiling and giggling a little, Spanners shrugged, walking over to their luggage to check that it was securely fastened. "So what do you reckon it was, then?"

"Not sure I follow you, old boy."

"You know, that caused the quarantine breach. What d'ya think it was? Some daft twonk bringing a pet home for his girlfriend? You know the things they breed down in the entertainment quarter." Spanners gave his guitar a friendly pat. God, he loved that thing. It's what got him through the hard times. If only he knew how to play it properly! He hadn't bothered to learn before, and now... well, there was no time, was there? Spanners enjoyed the busy life on the base, but the lack of any kind of free time to speak of wasn't doing his marriage much good. He shook the thought away.

Ace chewed his lip, thoughtfully. "Could be anything, really. No point trying to place blame. Somehow, something got into the base that shouldn't have – some animal, maybe just an insect – and now they have to flush the place with radiation. A blasted bore, of course, but you can't be too careful." He sat down on the large, sturdy wooden chest, and flashed Spanners a smile.

That chest had been poking at Spanners's curiosity ever since he saw Ace drag it from his quarters. Of course, it hadn't _looked_ like dragging. Ace had a way of making the most labor-intensive tasks seem effortless. Spanners was dying to know what was in it, but of course, it wasn't his business. He turned his thoughts back to the conversation. "I just don't get it, you know? How people can risk other people's lives like that, bringing an un-quarantined animal into a closed environment. Don't they know the risks? Well, no; they _must_ know, unless they'd slept through all the training vids on the subject!"

His eyes flicking quickly from Spanners to the chest and back, Ace smiled softly. "Ah, don't be too hard on them, Spanners, my man. I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding that will be cleared up in no time. Meanwhile, let's you and I get some chow, yes?"

* * *

They ate in silence – the kind of comfortable, amicable silence that really close friends can enjoy, if they're lucky. And Spanners did feel lucky. He had a fulfilling, meaningful job, he had married the  
woman of his dreams and regardless of their recent problems, they had two wonderful children together. And then there was Ace. Could a man wish for a better, more caring friend? It annoyed Spanners to find that his eyes kept moving to the chest in the corner of the room. It wasn't his business, after all! Spanners kept his fingers crossed that Ace wouldn't notice, but of course he did.

"Something the matter, Davey-boy?" Ace cocked a well-plucked eyebrow.

Blushing, Spanners picked at his food. "Nothing gets past you, eh?" He smiled, carefully.

"Spill it, old bean!" When Spanners just shrugged, Ace jerked a thumb towards the chest. "You're curious about that old thing, aren't you?"

"Well... yeah. Now you mention it. None of my business, of course," Spanners added hurriedly when Ace got up and started to cross the room.

"Pish posh! We're mates, you and I." Before Spanners could react, Ace had picked the sturdy thing up, carrying it with no sigh of strain. Plonking it down right in front of Spanners, Ace produced a key from somewhere in the recesses of his flight suit, and opened the lock. "There we are," he mumbled, lifting the lid, and secreting the key somewhere about his person again.

His cheeks burning with curiosity and a little bit of embarrassment, Spanners leaned forwards to take a look. His eyes widened. "Smegging hell," he exclaimed, mentally chiding himself the moment the words left his lips. He was really trying not to swear; it didn't set a very good example for his kids.

"Well now," said Ace, unstirred by the choice of words, "I wouldn't go as far as all that. It's just a lot of old junk, really." Seating himself on the edge of the open chest, he peered casually at the contents.

"Old junk?" As carefully as he could manage, Spanners reached inside, picking up a small, wooden figurine. He was almost afraid to touch it; it felt so fragile in his hands. The paintwork was detailed, though faded, and there wasn't as much as a mark of wear and tear on them. "These look really, really valuable!"

Ace waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, nonsense. Only a bunch of silly toy soldiers. Who wants to play war, anyway? Ghastly business; not at all suitable for children. If you ask me, those generals," he pointed at the piece in Spanners's hand, "were all a bunch of basic, natural cowards."

"So you don't like generals, then?"

A strange, smile played at Ace's lips, and for a moment, he seemed lost in thought. Finally, he turned those intense hazel eyes towards Spanners again. "I'll tell you something. Something I've never told anyone." Spanners shifted in his seat, sensing the importance of the story Ace was telling him. He felt privileged, like he'd been allowed to eavesdrop on the Prime Minister's meetings with the Cyber Queen. "When I was fifteen, I went to Macedonia on a school trip, to the site of Alexander The Great's palace. And for the first time in my whole life, I felt ... I felt I was home. This place was where I belonged." Ace chuckled, dismissively. "Silly, wasn't it? The sort of fantasy a young boy indulges in. But then, years later, when I was transferred to Mimas Base, I had a chat with the staff hypnotherapist."

Spanners frowned. "What; Donald?"

"The very same. Anyway, when I'd explained things to him; bread, butter and all that, and he'd put his clothes back on, and washed off the HP sauce, the subject came around to Alexander the Great. He offered to regress me back through my past lives. Well, you know me, Spanners; I like to keep both feet on the ground unless I'm horizontal, but I thought I'd give it a whirl. And believe it or not, old chum – you'll get a right laugh out of this - he told me that, in a past incarnation, I was Alexander the Great!"

Watching the man laugh at himself with such evident amusement; this great, heroic, strong, handsome and impossibly self-deprecating man, Spanners smiled. "You know what? I believe ya."

Laughing harder, Ace shook his head, and gave the chest a thump with his fist. "Oh, no, no, no. Rot, the lot of it. Like this junk – been in my family for generations. No one bothered to throw it out, I suppose. We Rimmers are a lazy bunch, and make no mistake!"

Likely story, Spanners thought, nervously replacing the figurine. They didn't make wooden toys anymore; hadn't done for centuries at least. And how had Ace known this particular one was a general? He was about to argue the point when something else caught his eye; a wad of papers, stuffed in next to the soldiers, hidden away in a corner. At first it looked like paper padding, put there to protect the figures, which in itself would belie their lack of value. As he looked closer, however, the red-green ink of printed dollarpounds was unmistakable. Spanners jerked his hand away, as though just touching the stuff would have been stealing. "Ace, man..."

Ace was still watching him, calmly. "Yes?"

"You shouldn't keep yer money lying around like that." Not that anyone would dare _steal_ from Ace, but well... Spanners felt oddly protective of the man. Which was absurd; this was Ace Rimmer, after all!

Chuckling, Ace gave another dismissive gesture. "I appreciate the concern, old macaroon, but I have complete faith in the boys back at the station." If Ace had a flaw, it was his tendency to refer to everyone, regardless of gender, as 'boys' or 'lads'. "Besides, how much could it possibly be? It's just some odds and ends I've been tossing aside from time to time. I'll bet it doesn't even add up to twenty dollarpounds."

Noticing the bills were in wads of the same size, Spanners gave a quick mental calculation. "Looks more like twenty thousand."

Laughing heartily, Ace reached around to give him a slap on the back. He put just a little too much power behind it, as usual, and Spanners huffed out a breath. Pushing the soldiers to one side, he began to rummage around inside the chest. "I'll show you something of _real_ value, squire." Eventually, he gave a satisfied "a-hah", lifting a handful of books triumphantly in one hand.

Spanners squinted at the titles. "Books?" He asked, lamely, feeling like a git. He didn't use to have any interest in reading, and now he didn't have the time. Kris was always encouraging him to go to the library, adding another shovelful onto the pile of guilt in his conscience.

"Absolutely, boy-o!" Ace brushed his hands across the covers of a thick, leather-bound volume. "Aaah, The Bard. Nothing like a bit of Shakespeare for long space voyages. Have I ever shown you my Richard III?"

"No," said Spanners, desperately flicking through his sparse mental library to find out who on Earth Richard III was.

A hush seemed to fall over the small ship, as Ace flipped his hair back, taking up an impressive pose. For a moment, it seemed as though he had grown a hump; his back arching in an odd way. Lifting one arm dramatically, he raised his voice, and began. "_Now_..."

The sound of something terribly large, and presumably terribly hot, hitting them shook the ship. The heat wasn't actually audible, of course, but the burst of it through the cabin was impossible to miss. In a heartbeat, Ace was back in the pilot's seat, strapped in and wrestling with the controls as the intertial stabilizers struggled to keep the out-of-control spinning ship from turning the people inside it into meat paste splatted up against the wall.

"Strap yourself in," he yelled to Spanners, who was way ahead of him, already snapping the buckle of his harness closed. "There's a small moon up ahead; I'll put her down there. Hang on tight!"

Spanners watched the view-screen nervously, hearing the overheating metal whine in protest around him as the _Gemini_ entered the atmosphere. He had no doubts about Ace's piloting skills, naturally, but this ship was a prototype, and it had been hit pretty hard. Not even having Ace at the controls would help them if they got a hull breach right now.

Suddenly, the screen turned white, showing a vista of jagged peaks covered in snow. They were flying through a snow storm, and heading, despite Ace's best efforts, straight for one of those mountains. "The steering is shot," Ace shouted, "this might be a bumpy..." A deafening _thud_ and the feeling that someone had hit him in the stomach signaled the end of their journey. Spanners leaned forwards in his harness, panting and swearing under his breath. He'd get some choice bruises from this!

"Ace," he shouted, "are you all right?"

"Tickety-boo," came the hesitant reply, sounding somewhat nasal. "Just got the old nose-bone broken again, nothing I can't handle." There was a sickening _crack_-y sort of sound. "Ah. Much better."

Shaking his head and smiling, Spanners struggled to free himself. They would have a long wait ahead.

* * *

Spanners was banging his head against the communications console in frustration when he heard the click of the door, followed by the screeching howl of the winds outside. "Ace," he yelled, hurrying over. The man had been out there for nearly half an hour, trying to dig them out. Spanners had kept offering to do it in shifts, but Ace had just laughed, saying he didn't have the proper training for it. When Spanners had retorted that he was pretty sure he knew how to handle a shovel, Ace had pointed out that only one of them had a family to get back to, and that had been that. Of course, what greeted Spanners was a stolidly smiling, straight-backed figure, nonchalantly brushing the snow from his hair.

"Still snowing, I'm afraid." Ace grinned, setting his shovel aside. "Damned nuisance to get anything done. Though I'm not sure why I even bother with you at the radio controls, Spanneroo!"

Sighing, Spanners shook his head, and walked back over to the console. "Nothing's getting through. I'm sure they must be looking for us now though; the quarantine should be over, yeah?" Ace's silence said it all. It was exceedingly rare for the man not to be able to come up with some form of fantastically optimistic retort. Now all Spanners heard from his direction was a discreet sort of cough, as though he were apologizing for the lack of words. "It's the weather, isn't it?"

"Well now," Ace tried, "it's not _that_ bad, surely..."

"Oh, come _on_, Ace! It's impossible to find us in this weather. They could be ten feet away and walk straight past us." As the words left his lips, annoyance at Ace's supernatural optimism gave way to sheer, unadulterated fright as reality hit Spanners in the gut. No one could find them. No one were _going_ to find them. "We're going to die, aren't we?"

Shivering, from cold as much as fright, as he was, Spanners didn't notice Ace closing in on him until he felt his strong arms wrap around him from behind. It would have been an odd gesture from any other close, male friend, but somehow, when Ace did it, it just felt safe and warm and right. "None of that. We'll have none of that, do you hear me? Do you hear me, Dave?"

Ace never used his real name, and he shock of hearing it jolted Spanners back into some semblance of togetherness. "Yeah."

"We are going to make it through this. Say it with me. 'We are going to make it'"

"We are going to make it." It felt hollow. Just words. Spanners swallowed, feeling his throat constrict.

"Good; now one more time. Like you mean it, Dave. Say it with me."

They repeated the phrase in perfect unison, Ace rocking Spanners carefully, speaking softly into his ear. It felt... good. Spanners was almost disappointed when those strong arms let go, leaving with a friendly pat on his shoulder.

"Good man." Ace smiled, walking over to another console, opening up a drawer, and rustling out a pen and a piece of paper. "We've only been here three days, and we've got plenty of food. But just in case, I'll draft up a rationing system, while you keep working on that distress call." He turned to Spanners, and winked, looking impossibly smug. "Can't keep us down, can they, handsome?"

Spanners blushed. He knew it was all to keep his mind off their predicament, but Ace had never called him handsome before. "No," he mumbled, shyly, before returning his attention to the console. He fiddled with the controls a bit, feeling a little helpless. He'd already sent the call out; it was transmitting at regular intervals. All they could do now was wait, which was easier said than done. He bit his lip, casting around for something to occupy his mind to keep despair from setting in. "I wonder why it's all in French."

"What's that, old boy?" Ace had risen from his seat, and was now walking around the little ship, as though he were looking for something.

"You know, 'mayday'. _M'aidez_. I wonder why it's in French. Why's it not in Esperanto?" He didn't really care, but it was something to talk about. Besides, it would be fun to see if Ace would have an answer. He usually did.

"It's been around for a long time, you know. Long before space ships and interstellar communication. Back then a lot of air traffic was between England and France. Made sense at the time, I suppose." Ace sounded preoccupied. Turning in his seat, Spanners saw him bent over his trunk, the contours of his pert buttocks straining against the shiny material of his flight suit pants. Ashamed of himself, Spanners looked away hurriedly. Ace was his best friend; you didn't stare lustily at your best friend's buttocks!

"What'cha doing?" He asked, pushing the mental images away.

"Just making sure we have plenty of fuel for the fire." The ship's environmental controls were pretty much all gone to smeg, so Ace had built a fire in an old metal storage crate. There wasn't much to burn, though, but he'd said he would keep a lookout for firewood outside. How he'd managed to find any, conditions being what they were, was a mystery to Spanners, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"You found something to burn, then?" Hearing Ace's footsteps, he turned around, and froze.

"Oh, yes." Ace was standing by the fire, throwing what looked like wads of paper into it. Except the only wads of paper they had around here were...

"Ace!" Spanners scrambled to his feet, rushing over. He came just in time to see the last bundle Ace had been carrying fall into the flames to be instantly consumed.

Watching the flames, Ace gave a solemn smile. "Burn like logs, these things. That should keep us warm for a bit; there's plenty more where that came from."

"But..." Spanners didn't know what to say, nor did his body. His shoulders jumped up and down, and his hands waved about, aimlessly. "Yer burning yer money?"

Ace shrugged. "No good to me here, is it? Besides, your life is more valuable to me than any amount of cash. And that's God's honest truth, matey."

Spanners looked from the flames, to the shadows they cast on Ace's face, and back again. All of that money... Ace was willing to throw it all away, just like that. He shook his head, not understanding, and was startled to hear Ace's laughter.

"Come now, Spanners; it's only money!"

* * *

Spanners fell asleep that night to the sound of one of Ace's many stories; not because it was boring, but because it was familiar and soothing, and Ace knew it. The man knew exactly what to do to make Spanners relax; make him forget and even laugh a little. He wondered, just before he drifted off, if there were any limit to the number of things Ace could make him feel.

* * *

When he woke the next morning, Ace was already out digging, having left before Spanners got a chance to talk him out of it. By the time he got back in, the fire was down to a pathetic pile of embers, and just like Spanners's hope, it was dying out, fast. Ace took one look at it before sauntering over to his trunk.

"It's all gone." Spanners gave a weak smile as Ace leaned down to peer at the contents. "You burned the last of it this morning."

Ace nodded, hesitating only for the briefest of seconds before bending to pick something up from within. Seeing only the silvery back of his flight-suit, Spanners waited impatiently for Ace to turn around, but when he did, Spanners's jaw dropped.

"Ace, not yer books! Ye can't burn yer books!"

A hefty pile of volumes were cradled in Ace's arms as he walked towards the fire, an eerie, serene sort of smile on his features. "Never mind that, matey-pie. Has to be done. Can't have you getting frost bite and ruining your good looks!" He pulled a crate away from the wall, and sat down on it next to the makeshift fireplace.

Rushing over, Spanners hunched down beside him. "Don't do it, man," he said, quietly. "Books, they're... they're good things. I wish I'd've read more, I'm always trying to make time for it."

"And you still can. It's not like these are the last books in the universe, you know."

Spanners shook his head, angrily. "No, but they're still _important!_

Raising an eyebrow, Ace held a specimen up for inspection. "_Biggles' Big Adventure_."

"Well, maybe not that one, but you know what I'm saying."

Ace chuckled. "No need to worry, old chum. They're all safe and sound. I read them all last night."

"You _what?_" Spanners watched with some confusion as Ace began to tear chunks from the very old, rather frail-looking novel, feeding page after page to the embers, teasing them back into flame-hood.

"Memorized them." Ace tapped his temple. "While you were asleep. It's all locked away in the old noggin-o'roony." He winked, tearing the cover in two and throwing it in. "Now then," he said, as Spanners rose, his mind reeling, "what do we have next? Ah yes... Shakespeare! That should be good for a couple of hours."

"You memorized the complete works of Shakespeare in _one night?_"

"Well," Ace struggled with a particularly stubborn set of pages, grinning as they gave way, "not all of it, I'll admit. Knew some of it already. I never got to showing you my King Lear, did I?"

Spanners sighed. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with Ace, even if he was one hell of a guy. Perhaps _because_ he was such a hell of a guy. It was enough to make a man feel... all sorts of things. None of which would be very helpful at the moment. "Never mind, man." He glanced at the top of the pile. "Lolita?"

"Never fear." With a knowing look, Ace reached pulled something out of the inner pocket of his suit. Spanners's eyes widened.

"Page sixty-one?"

"I thought you might like to hang on to it." He held the page out, inclining his head. He didn't look smug, because Ace never looked smug. Just handsome and impossibly... impossibly...

"Tell me a story," Spanners blurted, snatching the page and taking a step back.

Ace watched him quizzically. "A story?"

"Yeah, any story." He couldn't stay still with those eyes on him. Looking around desperately, Spanners found a crate similar to the one Ace was sitting on, conveniently close to the wall. He hurried over and sat down, trying to lean towards the heat and away from Ace at the same time. It wasn't really working very well.

"Oh, I don't know any stories. You're the raconteur on the base, old..."

"Not now, Ace, OK?" An sickly sense of triumph settled into Spanners when he saw that the snapped reply had actually startled Ace. But it was childish, and he instantly regretted it. "Sorry. I'm just a little on edge here, ya know? Just... tell me anything."

Not that Spanners could ever read Ace's fine chiseled features, but it seemed to him that they grew even more impenetrable at that moment. "Why don't _you_ tell me a story, Dave?"

His name, again. Why did that send such unwelcome shivers down his spine? "Don't know any stories."

"Sure you do." Firelight flickered over Ace's suit, making it look like it was burning too. Burning, like the man's eyes. "Tell me about your family. How's the wife and kids?"

"Why're ya asking that now? I miss them, don't I? This isn't helping!" He swallowed, lost in those relentless eyes.

"Dave, how are things with you and Kris?"

"Fine," Spanners lied, looking away. He couldn't know. He couldn't possibly know.

The fire crackled as book as page after page was lost to it, Ace tearing steadily, his attention entirely on Spanners. "Come on. Talk to me."

"She's fine, OK? We're fine. Everything is fine." The fire looked so tempting, and it really was getting _very_ cold. But he couldn't move closer. He couldn't.

"Come on, Dave. The truth."

Sensing defeat, Spanners shrugged. He couldn't possibly know, eh? Of course he knew; he was Ace smegging Rimmer! He had probably known long before they left the station. "The truth? Not much to tell, really. Kris has never been happy on Mimas. There's nothing for her to do on the base, and the kids are more than grown enough for her to get back to work now. She says she loves me, but..." He shrugged again, watching Ace watch him; watching him tear words and stories into little, flame-sized pieces. "Anyway, the kids'll need schooling soon, and she doesn't want them going to cyber-school like she did."

"So you'll be leaving us, squire." Ace's voice was steady; not asking, just stating.

"That's what Kris wants." And it was always about what _she_ wanted, wasn't it? Well, shouldn't it be? Spanners had married up, and he knew it. Though sometimes he felt like he was spending his whole life trying to make up for the difference. "She's been offered a job on a mining vessel. Can't bring the kids with her, of course, and we can't both leave, so she... _we_ figured we could get a place somewhere cheap, back on Earth, you know? Like a farm or something. Someplace safe for the boys to grow up, and I could stay behind and take care of them, and everything. The pay is good. We'd more than manage."

Ace smiled briefly, picking up another book. "I'm sure you will." And that was all he said. He just sat back, watching the fire, like he wasn't expecting Spanners to say anything more. Which, inevitably, is what drove Spanners to go on.

"I hear Fiji's nice."

"Warm and sunny, just the way you like it – am I right, old friend?" More pages were lost to the flames.

"We could have cows and sheep and breed horses." Ace looked up, and Spanners shrugged, quickly. That hadn't come out right, had it? "You know. I could read. Learn to play the guitar properly."

"Not sure there's much you can do to improve on the skills you have already, but that sounds like a grand time."

"Just bum around not doing anything much."

"Right-o."

"The kind of life I used to dream about."

"Well then..."

"Ace, I don't want to go!" Spanners didn't even realize he had gotten up and rushed over until he saw how _close_ Ace was, all of a sudden. The other man had risen too, and now they were standing nose to nose – or nose to upper lip, more like – and the room had gone from far too cold to far, far too warm indeed...

"Steady on," Ace mumbled, grabbing Spanners's waist. Trying to calm him, no doubt, but it was having the opposite effect.

"The base is the only place I've ever been useful! I'm good at what I do; people depend on me! I'm making a difference. Going back to doing nothing after having that... I don't think I could it. I'd go spare!"

Still holding him tight with one gloved hand, Ace raised the other to Spanners's cheek, just holding it there, gently. His voice, when he spoke, was gentle too. "She left, didn't she, Dave?"

Spanners wasn't sure if he nodded to agree, or just to feel that hand move against his face. "Said it was just for a training course, but we had a huge fight just before..." He swallowed. "I don't think she's coming back, Ace."

Ace, true to form, didn't tell him it was going to be all right, because he knew Spanners would have hit him if he had. Everything _wasn't_ going to be all right; they were marooned on a smeg-forsaken moon without any hope of rescue, and Kris had left and she _wasn't coming back!_ With that knowledge wrapped around them like an uncomfortable blanket, Ace pulled Spanners closer, holding him close in a hug tight enough to break ribs. Spanners didn't care. It was closeness and warmth, and it was exactly what he needed. Only this, he politely informed his stirring penis, and nothing more.

* * *

The books, though there were many of them; more, Spanners was certain, than he had ever read in his life, though admittedly this was not much of an achievement, could not and did not last forever. Huddled together as Ace and Spanners were, the warmth lasted longer, but they both knew they were only delaying the inevitable. There was nothing more to burn. Spanners didn't want to say it out loud, because he didn't want Ace to try to cheer him up. Spanners had given up on self delusion the day he decided to make something of himself.

Nothing. But no, _no_; there had to be _something!_ Slowly, Spanners let his eyes scan the room, knowing that Ace was doing the very same. All at once, their eyes landed on the same item. The trunk. _No_, Spanners thought, _no smegging way!_ Determined, he left the startled Ace, and marched resolutely over to his guitar.

"Dave..." Ace's voice was low and authoritative, as though he were talking to a misbehaving child, or possibly a cherished pet.

"It makes sense. It's what we should burn next."

Ace shook his head. "The trunk is solid wood. Toss the soldiers in first, get rid of the lot of nasty buggers. Good riddance."

"_No._"

"Come on, Spanners; don't be silly." Ace was trying for light hearted and cheery now. "You love that guitar. It's what keeps you going. You've had it all your life, you told me."

"And you love that trunk. I can tell," he added, when Ace started to protest. "It means something to ya. The soldiers too. Besides, we've already burned most of yer stuff; it's time for me to give something up." He picked up the instrument, such as it was, smiling at the missing strings and mis-placed replacements. Ace remained silent as he strummed it, snorting at how badly out of tune it was. Grimacing, he turned towards the fire. "Are you saying this is something worth keeping?"

Ace smiled, sadly. "I appreciate the offer, materoo." He nodded at the guitar, discreetly. "May I..."

Spanners hurried over, and handed it to him. "Yeah, of course!"

With what was clearly expert fingers, Ace started to pluck at the strings, frowning when they didn't behave as he expected. But after five or ten minutes or so of fiddling about, he had managed to force it into some semblance of tuned-ness. Spanners watched with a mixture of awe, sadness and jealousy as Ace began to play; tentatively at first, then more and more confidently, as he got the hang of the odd layout of the instrument.

It was heartbreaking. Ace was everything that Spanners wished he was and more, and while usually, that just made him love the man more, right here and now, it caused him nothing but pain. "Hey," he mumbled, "listen man... I'm gonna head out; see if I can't find a way to dig us out of here, yeah?" He couldn't stay in here another minute. "Just... smash it up and toss it on the fire when yer done with it, OK?" Spanners didn't stay to hear Ace's reply. Though the weather outside was murder, it was easier to endure than having to murder something yourself.

* * *

Having finally managed to close the door behind him, Spanners shook the snow out of his eyes. There was an odd smell in the ship, and it was noticeably warmer. His heart sank.

Over by the fire, Ace gave a cheerful wave. "What ho, old snowcone; how's the weather?"

Spanners snorted. "Oh, just fine. We ought to jot down the co-ordinates of this place so we can come back for summer hols." He sniffed the air, trying to place that strange new smell. Wood burning, yes, but there was an edge to it. Well, that wasn't important right now. Saving that concern for later, he hurried towards the heat, his whole body crying out for it.

The fire was burning merrily. Spanners looked forlornly at the distinctly guitar-shaped pieces, trying to concentrate on the warmth seeping into his grateful body. There seemed to be quite a lot of wood. Odd that a single guitar would yield so much. Still, he wasn't going to complain. "Careful there, matey," Ace gently admonished, "don't get too close. Those regulation cold weather jackets are notoriously flammable."

Spanners nodded, taking half a step back. Standing so close, that smell was overpowering. He'd never smelled anything like it before. It seemed to be coming from the fire. He wrinkled his nose, trying to figure it out, and suddenly noticed Ace watching him, carefully. Spanners met his calm, hazel eyes, then panned over to the trunk, which was now standing a lot closer to the wall than it had been. The fire crackled as the very solid, far, far too solid, _fragrant_ wood was slowly consumed. "Ace..." he mumbled, as the puzzle pieces clicked into place in his mind.

"Yes, old..."

"My guitar wasn't made of camphor wood."

Ace gave no reaction beyond the slight raising of an eyebrow. "I'm sure I don't know what you..."

Spanners didn't let him finish. He ran over to the trunk, and pulled it from the wall. The rattling sound of little wooden soldiers falling through a large, over-sized guitar-shaped hole filled the ship. Spanners watched them tumble, stunned. He had expected this, but even so, he found it hard to think. Hard to move. Hard to do anything. "You saved it," he whispered. The soldiers had stopped falling. Spanners felt he should pick them up; should do _something_ other than just stare at the sight in front of him, stupidly. It took Ace's soothing voice to snap him out of it.

"Come over here and enjoy the fire."

As in a trance, Spanners turned to follow it, until he was close enough to pull Ace up and into his arms, kissing the man with a desperate passion before either of them could say another word.

"Why, Dave," Ace mumbled, breaking free, "I didn't know you cared."

_Yeah, ya did,_ Spanners thought, shoving his tongue back down his throat. _That's why you pushed me to talk about Kris. You knew I was feeling guilty, so you helped remind me she had left._ But he said nothing, pulling back after a moment to breathe in the scent of Ace's still oddly pleasant smelling hair, and lick the side of his inviting cheek. "I need you," he muttered, pawing at the silver suit.

Ace's mouth stopped mid-attempted word, his lips pursing. "You know my butter preferences, don't you, Spanners? I'm not one of those people who flip their slices both ways."

Spanners stared at him, bewildered. He sure hadn't objected to that tongue! "Erm..."

There was a _click_ and the _zzrrrrt_ of an unseen zipper, and suddenly Ace was standing there in his underwear, winking. "But for you, my friend, I'm willing to make an exception."

Spanners wasn't sure what he'd thought sex with Ace would be like. He _had_ thought about it quite a lot, because spending any amount of time around Ace would do that to you. He was certainly skilled, and though he said he'd never been with a man before, he seemed to know exactly what to do. A blanket had been produced from smeg-knew-where, and hastily thrown between their soon-naked bodies and the freezing floor. The flimsy heat provided by it, however, was nothing compared to the heat produced by their bodies grinding against one another, as they grunted and groped and licked their way to mutual orgasms.

Those took a long time coming, however. Just when he felt he was on the brink, brought there by Ace's skilled hands and mouth, (and where had he learned to flick his tongue just-_so_; to go so deep without choking, if he had only been with women?) the stimulation stopped, and Spanners was left panting and whining pitifully, Ace letting him calm down before he built his passion all the way up again, and so on, in waves of frustrating pleasure. Only fleetingly did Ace let Spanner's touch _his_ body; he slipped away from almost every grasp, contorting himself with a wicked, ever-present grin, one Spanners had never seen before. It was both thrilling and a little disturbing.

When he came, finally, the climax all the better for the myriad delays, and his sense of direction and awareness of the world around him had returned, Spanners turned his head to see Ace now finally _accessible_. He lay there, very, very still, and open-mouthed, looking up at Spanners without expectations, but with so much wanting in his eyes that it seemed almost painful. His body, not too lean, not too muscular, lay there like a glistening feast of clichès ready to be consumed, and Spanners was very hungry indeed. "Alexander the Great," he mumbled, before leaning over and doing to Ace what the conquerer in question had supposedly had done to him by several male companions.

* * *

Somewhere in his post-coital high, Spanners must have fallen asleep, because he woke – fully dressed and wrapped in the blanket disturbingly similar to the one he had laid on with Ace – what felt like hours later. He was less concerned with the aspect of time, however, than he was with what had woken him; which was the sound of a very familiar voice indeed.

"Dave? Are you there? Are you all right?"

Blinking, Spanners looked up towards the view-screen, where Kris's worried face greeted him. He scrambled to an upright position, leaning against one of the passenger seats. "Kris! I'm... oh God, I'm so glad to see yer face!"

Kris laughed in relief, her eyes looking a little wet. "Thank goodness! Ace said you were fine, but I just had to see for myself. Oh, sweetheart; I'm so sorry!"

Spanners blinked at the screen. "Sorry?" His head was spinning, his brain struggling with an overdose of input. Among other things, it was informing him that the environmental controls were back on-line, which would mean they could get the engine running, which in turn would mean... He glanced towards the cockpit, where Ace was strapped in, flying the ship so gently you could hardly feel it moving. As Spanners watched, flabbergasted, he gave a little wave. There was the distinct, sour scent of cheroot smoke in the air.

"I should never have left. I was angry; I didn't mean any of those stupid things I said! When I heard the base had been evacuated, and you were missing..." She trailed off, wiping her eyes, then looked up again, smiling. "I don't want us to move, Dave. Not if you don't want to! We'll figure a way around it. I'm coming back. That is..." Her face fell a little. "If you want me to?"

Wanting to rush over and kiss the screen, Spanners settled for the widest grin he could manage. "_Want ya to?_ Darlin', there's nothing I want more!" As the words left his lips, the sight of Ace in his peripheral vision made his gut churn. The sound of Kris's giggle made him start.

"Don't worry, Dave. Whatever happened on that moon; as far as I'm concerned, that's nothing to do with you and me."

Spanners swallowed, remembering just in time to nod. He had been out for hours; she had clearly been talking to Ace. What had he been telling her?

"I'd better sign off. I'll see you soon, love." She blew him a kiss, then faded.

"Better strap yourself in, ladykiller!" Ace, as always, sounded perfectly calm and in control. Like nothing had happened. Everything back to normal.

In a daze, Spanners slumped into a passenger seat, and fastened the safety harness. "Funny that," he said, eventually, staring at nothing in particular.

"What's that, Spannerito?"

"Everything turning out so well like that. You fixing the ship..."

"Yes, funny thing that; the fuel-regulator was on the fritz. Should have caught it a lot sooner, silly bugger that I am!"

Spanners nodded. Easy thing to miss, that. The hoses got misaligned so easily, you just had to nudge them a little bit, and it'd look like the engine was completely off-line. "And now Kris is coming back. I doubt she would have, if it hadn't been for us getting marooned. Would have taken a lot longer, that's for sure."

"I'm sure it would have."

"And what a stroke of luck, us having packed only things that could be burned." Paper money? Who used that anymore, anyway? And Ace could get anything he wanted for free. Heirlooms? Ace couldn't stand his family, at least from what Spanners had gathered over the years. His brothers kept trying to get in touch with him, but Ace would always make sure to volunteer for some high-risk mission that just happened to coincide with their call or visit. No wonder Ace hadn't let him burn his guitar.

"Yes indeedaroonie."

"Kinda funny, all those coincidences coming together like that."

There was a pointed silence. Then Ace cleared his throat. "Come now, Spanners; surely you're not suggesting that I triggered the evacuation alarm at the base and made sure you and I left in a fully stocked ship, which could be crashed without risk of life and limb, all so you could have a guilt-free boink with me, then be happily reunited with your wife? I expect you'll suggest I knew that meteor was going to be there, next! Honestly, Spanneroo; you're too much."

Spanners smiled. "Yeah. I expect I am, at that." Leaning back in his seat, he closed his eyes, until all that penetrated his senses was the smell of Ace's cheroot and the sound of his quiet humming as he brought them safely home to Mimas Base.

Ace Rimmer, eh?

What a guy.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story, and you like Red Dwarf slash, check out [The Red Dwarf Slash community on Livejournal](http://community.livejournal.com/reddwarfslash/) \- home of excellent RD writers!


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